A Storied Tradition of Mediocrity
By: Bob Kellett | September 25th, 2008
Owners, coaches and players have come and gone in the eight seasons the modern Portland Timbers have been in existence. Only one person has been involved since day one: Gavin Wilkinson. First as a player, then as an assistant manager, and finally as the manager and general manager. He’s seen a lot in his time here. He’s been involved with some great moments, like finishing first in the regular season in 2004, as well as some not so great moments, like finishing last in 2006 and 2008. Overall he has seen a club that has been consistently mediocre. Take a look at the overall regular season record:
97-82-44, 308 GF, 271 GA
That doesn’t look so bad until you look at the record in games involving clubs not named Calgary, Edmonton and California — three expansion teams that should never have been created.
77-81-42, 255 GF, 257 GA
The moral of all this? Schedule as many games as possible against bad expansion teams. Oh, and expect more mediocrity.
Photo: Allison Andrews/Soccer City USA
Category: Timbers Team News
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Comments
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It is supposed to end today, right?
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Bob’s stalking me while I ride the bus!
z’omg’1′!
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Bob, why have you foresaken us?
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Until Bob reappears here to demonstrate otherwise, I’ll believe that he’s currently employed up north as Ljungberg’s personal underwear shopper.
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“he’s currently employed up north as Ljungberg’s personal underwear FLUFFER.”
Mo bettah
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Obama for the WIN! (Fvck Shittle!)
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Sigh….if only there was a quality blog writing about the Timbers and the potential for an MLS team in Portland….ah me…..
BOB: WTF?
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*cries* *sniffle*
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wanna buy some Timberz dolla dolla billz y’all?
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Was there some blog-worthy meeting about something at some city building that I missed yesterday?
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MLS2PDX BITCHES!
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Woah… MLS is considering Portland?? Nah… Bob would’ve mentioned it.
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Who’s Bob?
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Ingredients
1 (14 to 16-pound) goose
1/4 cup sea salt
1 lemon, halved
1 apple, cut into chunks
1 potato, cut into chunks
1 orange, sliced
1 cup chopped celery
Basting syrup, recipe follows
Stuffing, recipe follows
Cumberland Sauce, recipe follows
Directions
Place goose in a large pot. Add water to cover and stir in the sea salt. Refrigerate overnight.Preheat oven to 450 degrees F.
Remove goose from water and drain well. Remove all innards and trim excess fat from the tail. Rub inside cavity with lemon juice. Place apple, potato, orange and celery inside the body cavity. Truss the bird like a turkey.
Place the goose in the preheated 450 degree F oven. Reduce oven temperature to 350 degrees F. Cook 20 to 25 minutes per pound. Baste the goose every half hour with the basting syrup.
Carve goose and serve with stuffing and Cumberland sauce.
Basting Syrup:
1/3 cup corn syrup
1/3 cup cane syrup
1/3 cup melted butter
1/4 cup light brown sugar
2 tablespoons brandy
Mix all ingredients together in a small bowl.
Stuffing:3 cups whole chestnuts, roasted and peeled
1 (14-ounce) bag stuffing mix
1 cup raisins
1/2 cup chopped celery
1/4 cup diced apple
1/4 cup diced onion
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken stock
3/4 cup melted butter
1/4 cup heavy cream
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
Coarsely chop the chestnuts and put in a large bowl. Add the stuffing mix, raisins, celery, apple, onion and salt and pepper. Toss to combine. Pour in the chicken stock, butter and cream and mix until evenly moistened.
Transfer to a baking dish and bake until the top is browned and crisp, about 1 hour.
Cumberland Sauce:
1 1/2 cups beef stock
3/4 cup port wine
3/4 cup red wine vinegar
3 shallots, peeled and chopped
1 tablespoon crushed black peppercorns
3 oranges, juiced
In a saucepan, combine the stock, port, vinegar, shallots, peppercorns and orange juice. Bring to a boil, cook until reduced by 2/3, about 25 minutes. Strain and refrigerate. Serve cold over roast goose.
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How To Put On Tire Chains……..
Some motorists may not be familiar with them, but tire chains for snowy, icy, and steep mountainous roads are common in some states. In some cases, particularly in the steep mountain passes of the Rockies, the Sierra Nevadas, and the Cascades, tire chains are even required at certain points.Even drivers who are familiar with snowy and icy driving conditions must have tire chains to maintain safe control on mountain roads and highways. The grade of mountain inclines and declines combined with snow and ice can leave the biggest four-wheel-drive or the most nimble front-wheel-drive vehicle with little road control.
Putting tire chains on your vehicle is not the most simple task, but it is sometimes required to keep you rolling, and once you have installed snow chains for a first time, you will be ready to chain up and keep on driving through the snowy mountains, every time.
When obtaining your tire chains, you must first make sure they will fit your tires. Most tire chain packaging has a guide that indicates which tires it fits. Stores and markets where chains are sold also have guides, or employees who can help you get the right size. Never try to attempt to use chains that are too large or too small for the tire, as this could result in dangerous driving and damage to your car.
Dry Run
The same way it is a good idea to test the braking and steering on a snowy or slippery road, you should test putting on the tire chains before you reach the mountain roads where they may be required.Pick an open stretch of street, or a vacant parking lot. Take the chains out of their packaging or case, and untangle all of the links so they are hanging free in a web shape. Place the two separated chains by the tires to which you will apply them. For a front-wheel-drive vehicle, the chains should go on the front two tires. For rear-wheel-drive vehicles, the chains should be applied to the rear two wheels. Some trucks and extreme conditions may call for tire chains on all four wheels, which is fine, but make sure you put the chains on the right tires when you only have two.
With the car parked, parking brake engaged, and car in gear, place the chain onto the tire, holding it from the top and ensuring that it is evenly placed over the wheel. Obviously, the bottom part of the chain cannot cover that portion of tire that is touching the road. Just fit the rest of the chain onto the wheel as best you can.
Some chains have rings that go on the inside of the wheel, and help guide the chains into place. For these ring-type chains, be sure the open connection is on the bottom of the wheel. Once you place the chains on and the ring is going around the inside of the wheel, you can connect the bottom of the ring. This usually requires you to get right down under the car by the tire. You may need to change position to get the best angle on the connection.
Once the chain is evenly and securely on the three-quarters of the wheel that is not touching the road, repeat the process on the other side. When both chains are on, check to make sure the front of the car is clear, and drive forward a few feet. You only need to drive far enough to expose the rest of the wheels that were previously touching the ground. Put the car in gear or in park, engage the parking brake, and get out of the vehicle again. Now you can secure the chains squarely on the remaining wheel surfaces.
Next, tighten the chains by using a closer link on the chains. Now you are ready to drive, but only for a little bit. After you have driven 50 to 100 feet, you must get out and re-tighten the chains, which will likely have some slack from evening out across the tires.
Don’t be alarmed by the bumpy ride. After all, you are driving with chains on your tires. For your practice run with the tire chains, you will likely be on a dry road, so limit the driving, but this is a good chance to get to know how they feel and how the car rides with the chains on.
Taking the chains off is much easier, once you have disconnected the inside rings or chains. This once again requires you to get right down to the lower inside of the wheel. However, once the inside ring or chain is disconnected, you can’t simply pull the chains off. The chains will not disconnect on the bottom, where the tire is resting on the ground.
Simply lay the chains to the side of the tires as flat as possible, making sure that they are not still around the wheel or axle of the vehicle. Then you will drive forward a few feet, enough to get the car’s tires clear from the chains. When putting the chains back in a bag or packaging, try to make sure they are not tangled together, and make sure they are dry.
Mountain Driving
The reason it is often good to have practice putting on chains and knowing what you are doing is the adverse conditions in which you may have to repeat the task. Chains are required on snowy, icy, or possibly slick mountain roads and passes, where rain, snow, sleet, and wind can be formidable. This highlights the need for good gear to put your chains on.Don’t depend on your ski wear or other clothing you plan on wearing much, unless you don’t mind if it’s wet, dirty, or both. The best gear for putting on tire chains is heavy, waterproof wear, such as rain gear. Waterproof pants are important because you will have to kneel down to install and take off the chains.
Another good thing to have is gloves, but they should not be bulky ski gloves, and mittens won’t do you any good under your car’s wheel well. Garden gloves work well because they provide some protection from the cold elements and chains, yet still afford dexterity and the use of your fingers.
Repeat the same procedures as described above in “Dry Run” to get your chains installed. Make sure you have enough space to work on all sides of the vehicle safely. Mountain passes typically have chain-up turnouts with signs to let you know when to put your chains on, and then take them off again. Follow the posted signs and requirements, and don’t get caught without chains, as there can be fines in addition to the difficult driving you might face.
For more details and some helpful diagrams, check out the National Association of Chain Manufacturers’ informative document, Tire Chain Specifications
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I heard the Timbers just signed a midfielder from Sweden.
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What’s that you say about Chris Brown?
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I hear tryouts are coming up.
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Robert Heinlein’s Starship Troopers
Introduction and background
Since its debut in 1959, Robert Heinlein’s novel Starship Troopers has been one of the most popular — and controversial — works of science fiction ever published. Written in a few weeks as a response to a proposed nuclear testing moratorium and other issues, it has been interpreted and misinterpreted, praised and excoriated. It recently generated hundreds of “reviews” on the Amazon.com website — not bad for a book published 38 years previously!Long on philosophical discussions about citizenship, government, and sociology, this is a book that can be read on several levels: classic coming of age story, political commentary, and science fiction adventure. It virtually defined the powered armor subgenre of military science fiction.
It also generated an awful lot of mail, most of it negative.
Lest anyone later accuse me of having a hidden agenda, let me make my agenda public at the outset: Starship Troopers might just be my favorite book of all time. This web page was inspired in large part by the degree of misinterpretation, false statement, and outright character assassination I have recently witnessed concerning Robert Heinlein in general and Starship Troopers in specific, ranging from people on the internet who obviously felt that they didn’t have to read the book (or read it thoughtfully) before condemming it, to the hypocritical statements of those responsible for Paul Verhoeven’s Starship Troopers.
For a specific example of such misinterpretation and falsehood, I recommend Don D’Ammassa’s recent “review” of Starship Troopers printed in April 1998 issue of Science Fiction Chronicle. [D'Ammassa 1998: 48] Mr. D’Ammassa uses same tired old technique of making what he claims are statements of fact regarding the society described within the book which are simply not supported by the text, then condemning the book based on these inaccurate claims. (To see my letter to the editor of Science Fiction Chronicle, and any further details of the resulting corespondence between Mr. D’Ammassa and myself, please click here.)
I have no problems with people disliking or even condemning the book for its contents; it is a controversial work, and while I personally think that “polemic” is a little extreme, I can see why someone might describe it that way. What I do not accept, though, is condemning the book on the basis of willful ignorance or poor reading comprehension.
This is not to say that Starship Troopers doesn’t have its flaws; it can be preachy and with a narrow focus, thus giving rise to the impression (incorrect, I believe) that Heinlein was only focused on the military. (More about this below.) To further complicate matters, Heinlein occasionally makes contradictory statements about the society portrayed in the book. While I disagree with Heinlein on a number of issues (including the one that prompted him to write the book in the first place), I do agree wholeheartedly with his take on citizenship; that with rights come responsibilities, and that many if not all of the major problems facing the western democracies today — especially the United States — are the result of people having forgotten that simple fact.
I miss this blog…
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Something? Something something something. Something, something something pretty damn something.
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Vancouver Whitecaps Residency is a dumb name for a youth team.
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We love you Bob, oh yes we do…we love you Bob, and we’ll be true…when there’s no Bob-Blog we’re mo’f*ckin’ bluuuuuuuuuuuuue! Oh, Bob, where are you?
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Did you guys know that Portland has a soccer team? No, seriously. They’re called the Timbers or something like that. You should check them out.
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Thing that I copied and pasted.
Seriously, I’m a lazy, lazy man, and I just can’t go out there and find a new source of news. Come back to us.
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