Exhibition: Portland Timbers 1-0 Juventus Primavera

By: Bob Kellett | June 14th, 2008

The Bottom Line: Chris Brown took a pass from Bryan Little and knocked it into the goal in the 24th minute to propel the Portland Timbers to a 1-0 victory over Juventus Primavera in an international friendly at PGE Park. It is the second year in a row that the Timbers have come out victorious against an Italian youth team. Last year they defeated AC Milan’s youth squad in penalties. It is the second straight loss on American soil for Juventus Primavera. They were defeated in Seattle earlier this week.

Timbers Lineup
James Jordan
Tim Karalexis, Cameron Knowles, Justin Thompson, Leonard Griffin
Chris Brown, Neil Dombrowski, Miguel Guante (Lara 73), Bryan Little (Oka 59)
Chris Bagley (Adzemian 90), Takayuki Suzuki

Did you notice?

* I wasn’t there. Bad blogger Bob, bad. I had every intention of going. I even showered and gelled my hair so that the Juventus Primavera players would feel at home. And then the pub crawl started. And then it reached Thatch. And then the group decided that it would be better to become catatonic from drinking amazing drinks than to become catatonic from watching soccer. Sue me. Between the nine million Timbers games the past two weeks and all the Euro 2008 games, I needed a night off.

Three Stars

1. Suffering Bastard – A lot of recipes for this drink seem to call for orange ingredients. The Thatch version forgoes orange and instead is heavy on the ginger beer. Ginger is great for the digestive system and when included in a Suffering Bastard it will help you become one with God. Fact. In all seriousness, if I could be hooked up to an IV of this stuff my life would be complete.

2. Singapore Sling – Since I’m going to the country next month I figured I should try the drink that was created by Mr. Ngiam Tong Boon for the Raffles Hotel in Singapore. I can’t say that I enjoyed it enough to name my first child Mr. Ngiam Tong Boon (he or she shall be called Suffering Bastard), but it was a nice beverage that probably tastes especially well on a hot day. The name also reminds me of the Calgary keeper who we used to call a Singapore Prison Whore. And that reminds me of 6-0 victories. And that makes me happy.

3. HUB ESB – When I die you can go ahead and scatter my ashes over the Hopworks Urban Brewery. Their beer makes me feel as warm and tingly as a McKinley Tennyson goal. It goes down quicker than an Italian youth player in the box. The beer has a bigger head than Scott Benedetti.

Final Thoughts
The hangover tomorrow will suck. Regular blogging will resume on Monday.