Timbers Grab Bag 04.22.08

By: Bob Kellett | April 22nd, 2008

Three more days to kick off. I hope we can all survive. We start today with the usual Tuesday Tribits where we learn that Arsene Oka will finally arrive in Portland today and that we can expect him to get off the plane at PDX and immediately start attacking the goal. The midfielder from the Ivory Coast evidently prefers to head forward rather than back when he plays soccer. He and the rest of the Timbers will be joined by Benjamin Totori on May 10 if Manchester United, Inter Milan or Barcelona don’t come to their senses first and steal him away from us. In news to everyone but members of his immediate family, we also learn that Scott Bolkan is “phenomenal”. Is it Earth Day or Hyperbole Day?

Speaking of Bolkan, he was signed by the LA Galaxy and loaned to the Timbers without the Galaxy’s coach evening knowing. From the LA Times:

It appears that Gullit is not totally in the loop on the transaction front. Last week he was asked about the acquisition of defenders Scott Bolkan and Vardan Adzemian and their subsequent loan to the Portland Timbers. Gullit looked blank. He had never heard of either player.

The Galaxy sure are phenomenal. Phenomenally dysfunctional, that is.

You know who is pumped up about Thursday’s game? The Longview Daily News. I’m sure you subscribe to it. We learn from it that there will be a high school game before the Timbers match on Thursday so if you are free that afternoon go ahead and support the high school kids.

You know who is also pumped up about the Timbers? Fijian football fans. Totori’s signing is a big, big deal in the South Pacific.

The equally exotic Cary News has some storylines to watch during the 2008 USL First Division season.

The Grandmaster of soccer writers in the US, Steven Goff, wishes us all a Happy Earth Day in his Washington Post blog by linking to the video of Timber Jim’s last game.

Finally, I am facing a peculiar situation. I locked my bike up at the grocery store last night. I have one of those old school Kryptonite locks, the kind you can open with a Bic pen. The problem is that the lock is misaligned and it can’t be opened with a pen or the key. The lock itself can’t be cut with bolt cutters and I don’t think a hacksaw will do the job. Any thoughts on how I can go about liberating my bike from the lock?