We’re going to win the exhibition league (and probably nothing else)

By: Bob Kellett | June 25th, 2008

Getting a little too friendly
Because playing them once at home on July 3 is not enough, the Portland Timbers will face Monarcas Morelia again on July 6. A big yawn followed by a scratch of the head, especially when you find out that the game will be played at Memorial Stadium in Seattle. That is the same Memorial Stadium that is one sneeze away from being condemned. Why would the Timbers bother with this when they already play too many games during too short a time during the regular season and they have no chance of capturing the interest of the Seattle market? Perhaps they will get some money from it if they are able to rustle up some Morelia fans in the Seattle area in the next few weeks who are willing to pay $20 to watch useless futbol in a stadium that doesn’t sell beer and where the pitch is as wide as my ass, but will it be enough to pay the medical bills when a few of the players break down later in the season after playing too many minutes on too many crap plastic surfaces? Will it be more than what they would have earned with a decent run in the US Open Cup? Will it be more than what they would earn with a decent run in the USL-1 playoffs?

And while I am being cranky….
Wouldn’t it be nice if the press releases ahead of road games mentioned which players will be traveling with the squad? How about an update on injuries? That is the type of information that those of us who bother to read these things would really like to know.

Dixie has been kind in the past
The Timbers defeated the Carolina Railhawks 1-0 behind an 80th minute goal from Bryan Jordan last season in their first and only appearance in Cary, NC. The Timbers are 2-2-0 in Atlanta all time, including a 1-0 victory a season ago. Chris Bagley scored in that one. Chris Bagley scored against Atlanta two weeks ago. Chris Bagley has not scored for the Portland Timbers against any other USL-1 team. Chris Bagley is Atlanta’s modern day Sherman.

Print it out and hang it on the wall
Craig Mitchelldyer’s work is awesome. He’s a smart man to keep Andrew Gregor’s mug out of view.

Scouting the opposition
Lame name. Check
Lame mascot. Check
Lame gimmicks. Check.
Attendance that is dramatically down in season number two. Check

Another reason to hate the fake stuff
Attention anyone who played on the old PGE Park turf: Hire a lawyer ASAP

Something to help you win at pub trivia night
After Friday’s game against Carolina, the Timbers will have played every team in the USL First Division at least once except for the second place Charleston Battery.

Lead Photo: Allison Andrews/Soccer City USA